The world and your life is ALL about yourself, embrace, and stick to your principles, don't care about other people.

Neih Hou, Namaste, Bievennue, Hello:

I usually blog when I feel depressed, sad, disappointed or angry.

By the rate I am blogging, you'll know that I am quite not in a good mood recently, although it's Chinese New Year...(Despite the amount of money I had received during this period......haha)

Today, I would like to talk about how you should always stick to your own principles, believe in your own thinking and embracing yourself.

Growing up in a family with 2 Asian parents, your behavior, manners and thinking is basically molded by your parents...Chinese parents are very particular with all of those mentioned.... like how you MUST finish your food on your plate although you are so bloated till the extend you can feel your tummy exploding, or how you must respect your elder family members, or how you should follow the Chinese customs...Sometimes, I feel that it is quite exhausting to be a Chinese kid. I had always admired how Americans raise their children. They tend to listen to their children's problems and care more on their children's feelings. For me, it is never easy to express my feelings to my parents. Whenever I do so, it will always turn into a big fight, you can just turn from sad to angry spontaneously... It's like WTF??!!It is like I am sad here and I need you to comfort me and now you are blaming me for being betrayed by your best friend or getting a getting terrible results in your exam. 

Once, I did confront them because that....Instead, they turn out to be the one freaking out, crying and saying that they are supposed to be the one complaining about their hardship because they are the one going through all the trouble providing for this ' high maintenance child'. 

Me: Mom, dad, you guys never listen to my feelings, you guys tend to blame me back and lecture me even though I am down.
Parents: Then did we complain about how suffering it is to provide for this family?????....( and drama begins, tears rolling.....)
Me: Sighs.....

Since young , my dad had never been very bonded to this family...He's quite dogmatic and stubborn. I didn't like him very much as a child, now as well. My family had been through many low times mainly because of him... The marriage between my mom and dad has never been stable..but it lasted till today because we tolerated,,..but it had made me a very depressed kid....

It is like the world revolves around him. For example, he can change everything you'd planned for the day because he will DECIDE for you what he thinks you must do today. He's quite a baby, if you don't listen to him or obey him, he will keep it as vengeance and he can remember it for years, seriously. Once, my mom changed the furniture in the house without his consultation/ agreement. ( He works overseas.) My dad never tells you what he thinks, every time you ask him about his opinion, he will just keep quiet, as if he had agreed with what you said. However, if you'd done what you think he has agreed but he actually opposes, you will have a bad YEAR facing him.

My dad is a very a very " Bossy man". he always says, " Do what I say, don't do what I do". This pretty much covered him from all his mistakes. Besides, you must also DO what he says, seriously....You will find it very annoying because what he always wants is you to become the person he wants you to be....which is the "Perfect Son".

My dad lives abroad, he works there, and it has been years....He only sees me during big festivals like Chinese New Year or Mid Autumn Festival......etc.....It is normal if he doesn't understand me or the family...
In his mind, I am the son who is self centered, uncaring, does not care for the family, not matured and only lies within the piles of books in his room...I have been in many of those situation where he asks me to sit down and talks to me about caring for the family......( I don't like to talk about that, it makes me even more depressed). I am always this boy that never grows up, that day, he even asks me whether I could change a fluorescent tube or not... Gosh! During these years you have been away, I have grown, matured and learnt things, just that you have not seen it before....

It is okay, because I believe what I am capable of. I don't have to tell anybody, because I believe action speaks louder that words. I always smile when he lectures me, because deep down inside me, I know I am a far much better person, I don't have to prove that to anybody.

Many people said this before, " Be Yourself ". But the message I am trying to deliver here is not just being your true self, but to remind yourself that what you are capable of and you don't have to prove that to anybody because deep down in your heart you know you CAN. Smile, when people criticize you. By doing this, you prove them wrong and you make them look stupid, too! Always believe that your principles are correct because you are who you are, nobody can tell you who you need to be like or how you should behave. Everybody is born unique and with different personalities, and because of that, this world is revolving, growing, and colourful.

Don't just be yourself, but embrace yourself, knowing yourself is the most important thing because the people around you will always try to mold you into somebody else.

Signing off,
Jason Lee

Sometimes, your dreams are just so near yet so far....

Neih Hou, Hello, Bievennue, Namaste:

This year, is a decision making year to me, which path to take after graduating from high school. Having both Asian parents, making your own decision is not a thing that you are 'allowed' to do.

I remember, when I was  young, people would ask me what would I be when I grow up. I used to have no direct answer to that question. I believe that " all roads lead to Rome", that means you can succeed in any field, as long as you put in maximum effort and passion. Well, I think that that particular question " what do you want to be when you grow up ?" is just a question...well, that simply builds you a castle in the sky. Sometimes, a dream is just a dream, you might want to live in that particular way, but people might just unable to see your vision.

Why do I not have an ambition since I was a kid? Well, to be frank, I was exposed to almost all the fields, such as music, literature, art....etc...(I would like to play sports, but my health does not let me to do so.) I don't seem to have a thing that I like the most.

 Inspired by many great entrepreneurs recently, namely Steve Jobs, Sergey Brin, Larry Page, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Cameron Johnson....I just have the urge to study business, in Harvard Business School. Well, it seems like something too big and just a fantasy to a commoner like me...

I tried to explain to my parents that business is my passion, and I would like to be a somebody someday. However, my parents think that business is just a very common thing and is categorized as a 'desperate option', and I could just drop out of school right now and become a businessman , what for Harvard Business School and expensive fee?

Having great education is good but achieving your dream is even huge! Why do I say so? Simple! This is because we only live once...

I know asking for something like Harvard for Business is just...well..too much...under the circumstances of my family...they just simply can't compromise...

I want to study in the US, in an Ivy League, I want to invent the next Google or Microsoft or even Facebook. It is not about the quality of education, no doubt that the quality of education of the Ivy League is top notch, but the main thing here is about achieving the American dream, although I am not an American, I want to be inspired, I would like to meet great people that will inspire me. Look at Mark Zuckerberg, without the help of Eduardo Saverin, he would not have enough capital to start Facebook. That is the thing I am talking about, meeting great people, together holding hands towards success.

Parents, I do understand it is your effort to earn a living for your family and it is your children's responsibility to do what you want. All parents in this world hopes that their children are obedient...However, it is not your business to interfere with your children's dream. Let your children lead their dreams, because chances aren't always there and it is important that choices are never regretted.

Please parents, let your children's dream run wild, because life is only once, and when decision is made, there is no turning back.

Signing off,
Jason Lee